My 1st year wedding anniversary was yesterday, which was a little surreal in some ways. I waited some time before making a commitment to marriage as I was 39 when we got married, and for good reason. I wasn’t really sure I knew what love was or why you’d commit your life to being with just one person.
My parents divorced when I was only 2 1/2 years old, and my mom was the text book definition of an absentee mother. My father was busy starting a new family, and while he put his time in, it was minimal since he was focused on pleasing a new young wife and having new children of his own. My life path up until a few years ago left my very confused an unsure about love, and lead me into a lot of bad relationships. It was through all of that though that I learned some important lessons about love and life. I don’t profess to know a lot about love, but I did finally figure out a few things that help guide me to my amazing wife.
Things To Keep in Mind
- Make sure your woman feels secure. Even if you’re ever in a precarious situations yourself, always make sure your woman knows you’re there to protect her. This is so primal, and so simple, but there’s a reason I put it number 1.
- Take charge of your house and your family, but never tell a woman what to do. No matter how much of a feminist a woman is, at an unconscious level they want men to be in charge. You don’t want to be overly assertive, but a firm mind when making decisions. Don’t take this to mean you can boss a woman around because any woman worth being with won’t tolerate it for an instant.
- Listen, don’t try and solve. When woman are ranting on and on about their troubles, or their problems from the day, just listen and be present. Don’t try and offer advice unless they specifically ask. Men typically have a much more practical approach to things and want to solve the issue and just move on. Women want to emote because it’s their way of clearing their personal garbage out so they can move on.
- Be emotionally vulnerable. If you allow a woman to hear you speak about something that emotionally causes you problems, you are speaking their language and they will feel safe to open up to you even more. As long as you’re displaying 1 & 2 above, then this is a huge plus to women. If you’re not displaying 1 & 2, and doing 3, then you might not be looking for a woman. 😉
- Give them their home. A home to a woman is 100x more important than to a man. It means security, it means where they may, or already do raise their children. It’s a direct reflection of who they are. Women tend to be more into ascetics than function, while men tend to be the opposite. So while there are some man essentials you should have in your home, don’t make it a point of contention. Let the woman lead.
- Learn to be wrong. This actually goes for men and woman, and I’m sure it’s been said a million and a half times. In the end, being right and wrong is irrelevant, so don’t cause unnecessary stress in a relationship proving how right you were or they weren’t.
- Never stop dating. It might be another cliche statement, but it’s so true on so many levels. It’s not just about making time for each other, and having romantic plans from time to time. It’s also about how you are as a person. A lot of people tend to “let themselves go”, and I don’t just mean physically. How you are right NOW, is this your ideal self that you’d want to present to your partner on your first date? If it’s not, then get to work.
- Little things say I love you more than words. Love is super complex, and everyone’s version of love is slightly different. No matter what your version of love is though, the little things like taking out the trash, bringing your partner a glass of water when they didn’t as for it. Getting them a clean towel when they are in the shower, even though they have one. Bringing home a card to them for no good reason, and/or flowers. Those things go a lot further than we think.
- Complete their love. Like #8 states above, everyone has a model of love. For some, it’s doing things for the other person. Maybe completing projects around the house. Maybe it’s being the scheduler for the relationship, or re-assuring that person that you are there for them. Whatever it is, figure it out, and if you love that person, do it. Hint: Most of the time this will be how they relate with their parents. So make sure to pay attention during family gatherings for clues.
I’m still a work in progress. I’m not about to write my marriage book after only one year of marriage. But after one AMAZING year, I thought I’d share some of my thoughts. Hope your relationship is everything you want it to be, and if it’s not, then make it so it is.
What we’re all about at Ace Poker Solutions
We offer the highest EV poker software, and training tools available on the net, recommended and used by today’s top poker players are the world. We’ve been doing this since 2009 with the emphasis on offer unique and creative poker software that will help any level of poker player be a more thoughtful and successful player at the table. We’d invite you to check these titles out:
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Ace Poker Drills – Ace Poker Drills is a poker training software that gives you a “flash card” style training for Odds and Outs, Equity, and Pre- Flop play. The Pre-Flop trainer will help you to easily recognize which hands to play in different positions. Odds and Outs trainer will get you to quickly calculate your odds and outs in various situations. Equity Trainer will quiz you on equity calculations for different hands, so that knowing your equity in a given scenario will be.